Ok i will get it started....

Subject: $100 Tattoo

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, "Where in the world have you been?"
Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my privates," he said proudly.
"What the world were you thinking?" she said; Shaking her head disdain; "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred Dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"
One, I like to watch my money grow.
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
And, lastly; instead of you going out shopping you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."
Larry is recovering in room 232.